Showing posts with label m. Show all posts
Showing posts with label m. Show all posts

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Ember Sparkstone's Guide to Being Fully Awesome and Fully True To Thine Own Self

A Guest Post by The Amazing Ember Sparkstone.



EMBER SPARKSTONES GUIDE TO BE…
FULLY AWESOME
AND
FULLY TRUE TO THINE SELF
By: Chibi*Chick (AKA EMBER SPARKSTONE)
Edited by: Jedi Chick(AKA my cuz)

Intro: This is passage to fully elucidate a commoner on how to exponentiate a reasonable knowledge on how to be true to thine own self in way that will enlighten ones brain in a way that would be so called “awesome”.

I. Break out singing whenever possible at random times.
II.        Skip around your house whistling absolutely nothing.
III.      Invent random things in your mind or on paper that absolutely no one will know about!
IV.        Collect anything you desire!!!  Keep it in a box. A  shoebox.
V. Hang upside down and imagine what life would be like if you lived in an upside down world.
VI.         Brush all your stuffed animals daily.  They deserve care too!!
VII.      Draw as often as possible, even if you aren’t that good, because someday it might be the new style…..stick figures. 
VIII.    String a bunch of paperclips together and create an entire line of Paper Clip Jewelry. 
IX.         Do the sound effects for everything you do during the day.  In the car: VROOOOOOMMMMMM.  Trip and fall:  AHHHHHHH KERSPLAT.
X. Play outside in the rain, and pretend you’re a raindrop.
XI.        Whenever someone asks whether they have something on their face look horrified then say, “No, you’re good!” with a smile on your face.
XII.      Make things fit for fairies!
XIII.    Stare at someone intently until they ask what’s wrong.  Tell them: “You’ve got something on your head!!!” and look afraid. When they check and ask if they got it, walk away nonchalantly. 
XIV.      Whenever someone asks you a question tell them “ The voices require me to say no/yes.
XV.        Gather up your nerves and try to make some new imaginary friends.
XVI.      Force people to call you by your pirate name.
XVII.    Only respond to people who call you by your pirate name.
XVIII.  Put a temporary tattoo over your belly button and show it to all and every one who comes within ten feet of you.
XIX.      Watch a rerun of your favorite TV show, but mock everything that happens to the characters in it.
XX.        When in the shopping mall, start to search around for your family (even though they’re right next to you) and have an extremely lost look on your face.

If you do these things, you are guaranteed to be awesome.  And true thine own self.  
BE SMART!!!!  FOLLOW MY ADVICE!!!!!  Or you will be a loser.  So sad.  I KNOW!  I have done these things myself, so I know them to be true.  I wish you luck!  May the Force of the Pirate Ninjas be with you all!!!!!!!

EMBER 

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