Hello Sweetie! Today is my mom's birthday. Happy birthday, Mom!!
Many of you might
know my mom as River Song or Princess Leia from past posts...she is most
definitely both. Wibbly Wobbly, Timey
Wimey.
Today we plan on
spending time together as a family, we went to work out at the gym (one of
her favorite places) and eat lunch at one of Mom's favorite restaurants and
tomorrow she and my dad are walking a 5k marathon together and after that we
settle in for some Doctor Who! ;)
LOL Christmas
My mom means
everything to me. Though we
/occasionally/ fight or disagree, I love her more than anyone and her opinion
is the only one that really matters to me.
I don't necessarily mind what others think of me, or say about me, but
my mom's opinion is like crucial to my existence. xD
She's more than just
my Mommy, Mom/River is my life-coach, teacher, encourager (even when it feels
like nagging) and fellow fangirl. Though
she claims that I don't understand her "feels" (oh the sweet irony) I
in fact very much do, and love to talk with her about Doctor Who and Star Wars
and everything else that makes our family so uniquely geeky.
Happy Birthday
Mommy!! You already received your gift of my school work, completed ahead of time and my renewed love and
inspiration for viola. I hope that you
have a great birthday, I know our Doctor Who premiere night will be fun, and
(even though you're scared) I know we'll love it. :)
Hello Benjamin
Mom, you're always
there for me, even when I don't want you to be.
This is random, but when you were calming me down when I was panicking
over school and SAT tests and geometry last week, you made me feel so amazing,
and helped me realize that I'm only learning and that you really are flexible
and willing to work with me and not against me.
Not sure why that hit me then, I think I just really needed to hear that
from /you/ (since Autumn already told me "chill out it's just school"
like seven times the previous night, haha).
So thank you. Thank you for
dedicating your life to teaching me and my sister, thank you for putting
yourself on hold for us. I hope that
someday I can become a mom just like you (with slightly less yelling….maybe.)
Here's to
celebrating another trip around the sun, Mom. :) Love you!!!
(sorry for all the birthday posts, but March is apparently a very busy month for birthdays!! Two of my best friends and my mom have a birthday this month, and both of my grandparents!! LOL)
So today is my bestie/bby Autumn's birthday. :) She's (OLD) 17 AND ALL GROWN UP *SOBS*
Autumn, I think it's clear that it'd be hard to say how much I really really really love you and how close our relationship is.
*ow feels*
Even though I've only known you for like 2 years, you and I talk literally every day and we're closer than friends (WE'RE SOULMATES LOLOL).
So I can't really talk about how much you mean to me, because I'll get all teary eyed and start getting all sappy and crying and I'll just save that for Skype. XD Instead I'll put some videos. >:D
T.T
THESE VIDEOS ARE GIVING ME MAJOR FEELINGS. :'D I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AUDYYYY. *HUGGLES*
Seeing those songs pretty much sum up our friendship....I'll end that there and rant about how much I love you on Skype. ;) Happy Birthday bby, hope it's a great one. Here's to many more together!! :D
Today is my best friend and sister Ashley-Tara's birthday! :) Happy birthday, sissie!!! I love you to death!!! I don't know what I'd do without you. ;) ♥
I hope you have the most fantastic birthday dearest sister, I love you!!!!!
Definitely one of the best days of my life was getting to meet you in person, and seeing Avengers together!!! :) That was so much fun, I can't wait to see you again, hopefully someday soon!
Ashley and I are writing partners, I tell her all my ideas and show her my writing, and she does the same with me. We write fanfic together, especially our favorite Star Wars AU we've created with our good friend Elizabeth, called ORPAS (Of Rebel Pilots And Starfighters).
Our friendship is a lot like that of our characters, Fallon and Tara. ;) And I hope it stays that way forever!! ♥
Seeing I don't want to get all sappy (I can save that for Skype), Ashley, I love you so much, I'm so blessed to call you my best friend, and thank you for all the fun times. Happy birthday, girl. Happy SWEET SIXTEEN OMGSH *FLINE*. ;)
*SOBBING TACKLE HUGS* ♥♥♥♥♥♥ Love forever, Gracie ♥
I feel like posting random things, so here, see some things I wanted to share. ;)
I was Her Universe's Fangirl of the Day!!!! :D See my post HERE I was the FIRST one!!! :O The first girl who was nominated and not one of the writers. ;)
I'm the 10% of people who's toenail grows back after having the permanent surgery. :P
Because of being the 10%, I had BOTH sides of my toenail fixed....*CRINGE* Toe surgery is my LEAST favorite feeling EVEEERRR. It hurt so much! :P I wrote "TCW" on my toe, because The Clone Wars hurts as much as toe surgery. >.>
That's my purple dinosaur. His name is Jawn. And he's adorable. And I got him a few weeks ago at dance. Or rather, we bought rubber dinosaurs instead of buying food for dinner. WORTH IT.
Good quality photos of me, taken today. XD I'm like in love with these pictures. The quality alone is perfecttttt. The top picture has my wrists in it, where I wrote "Sigh No More" (from Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing) and I'm wearing my rubber bracelet that has TLF and HU colors in it. ;) My other wrist has my Her Universe bracelet and my friendship bracelet that Pink made me and put on me at CVI (I haven't taken it off XD)
i made this thing
OH LOOK WAREHOUSE 13 FEELS OUCH. ASFKDLAJDSLKFASHFKALSKFAASFKAS;L
Warehouse 13 is amazing and I cannot with THESE FEELS. *SOBS*
My favorite characters are Claudia Donovan and Steve Jinks. I DO NOT SHIP THEM. I actually don't ship ANYONE in this show. IT'S ALL FRIENDSHIP FEELS AND I CANNOT HANDLE THEM. ASKLDJFA;KLSDJFASS
That whole photoset makes me cry. XDD I love the friendships in this showwwwww. *SCREAMS*
That's from Grease (if you didn't know that you probably live under a rock XD) and it's the song I'm doing for Jazz with my 5-6 year olds. XD They're SO cute doing it. ;)
......I am.
And now you're sad. (WHOVIAN FEELS)
......yeah.
THIS IS MY FAVORITE VIDEO EVER IN THE HISTORY OF /EVER/
New Favorite Song:
Much Ado About Nothing is my new favorite book, and when I found this song, my life was made. XD
I didn't know how great of a singer David Tennant was until now. ;D EEEEEHHPPP!!!!!
I memorized that song.
Okay, so my random post is done!! :D Hope you all enjoyed me being in a random posty mood!! ;)
(cliche title.../everyone/ has been using that one...sorry....I had to.)
The Clone Wars is over.
......
Cancelled.
Done.
Forever.
No more waking up early on Saturday mornings to watch the new episodes. No more panels at conventions, no more screaming at people over it on TLF or Skype or Twitter. NO MORE.
.........
Get ready for a really emotional/sobby post about The Clone Wars, what it means to me, and how much it's impacted my life, why I'll miss it so much....shoot....crying already....nopenopenope.
So Monday REALLY stunk for me (and my family). First, I went to the dentist and found out I had a cavity and wasn't pleased about it, and was in a bad mood because of it, and when I got home and logged onto Twitter, I saw that the internet had EXPLODED because of this article released on starwars.com
I read the article hurriedly (three times to catch all the details) and then watched the video. Almost as soon as Dave Filoni started explaining what was going on with TCW and that it was "winding down", I started crying. A lot. Then I ran from my room, (crying hard, mind you) and told my mom and sister that The Clone Wars (our favorite TV show, aside from Doctor Who) was cancelled. Glory's face twisted up with upset, and she ran into her room, closed the door, and laid on her floor and cried. :'(
This is why it hurt so much. Without TCW, my family wouldn't be Star Wars fans. I wouldn't have met Savanna, or Autumn, or Ashley, or started Lakehouse, or met any of my other friends, or have gone to Star Wars Weekends, or Celebration or ANYTHING. It wouldn't have happened. I wouldn't be a Doctor Who fan, or a Warehouse 13 fan, or ATLA or Korra or Sherlock or Avengers or Marvel or ANYTHINGGGGG. NONE OF IT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED.
My sister was six when she saw The Clone Wars movie in theaters. For a little kid, that was awesome and a huge deal, she loved it and started watching the series as it aired on Cartoon Network. She eventually decided she needed to see the other Star Wars movies, which I purchased for her, and you know the rest of the story. Anyways...The Clone Wars really got me into Star Wars even more than the OT did, because it was so constant and something to look forward to every week.
Because of The Clone Wars, Ashley Eckstein became part of the Star Wars community and because of Ashley Eckstein I felt confident in being a fangirl and embraced who I was and because of that I met my best friends on the planet and made so many amazing friends and created a website for fangirls and started writing fanfiction and then discovered how much I love to write and how it's my passion and now I sit before you staring at my computer with tears in my eyes because I didn't realize how big of a deal The Clone Wars was to me until it's GONE.
I think that in this time of mourning for our favorite TV show...the finale's 'fortune cookie' was really important. I'm clinging to this TCW-ism for dear life.
Because come on guys....I'M SAD. I talked with Savanna on the phone on Tuesday after the news was released and we both were reminiscing and being sad, and she said "I never realized how much I cared about this show until now."
And that is so true, because until that last finale episode, I was just really "meh" about TCW for a while there. I'd still tune in EVERY EPISODE no matter what, and I love it dearly, but it didn't hit me until Ahsoka walked away from the Jedi Order that I HAVE GROWN UP WITH THIS SHOW. MY AWKWARD PRE-TEEN/TEENAGER STAGE HAS BEEN SPENT WATCHING AHSOKA GROW UP AND MATURE AS WELL AND I'VE LOOKED UP TO HER WITHOUT REALLY REALIZING IT AND SEEING HER RELATIONSHIP WITH ANAKIN JUST MADE ME HURT AND NOW
IT'S
FREAKING
OVER.
:'(
So now the question becomes, what now?
Lucasfilm promises a 'new show is in the works', but to be honest, I really am not too pleased with Lucasfilm/Disney right now. XD I wanted The Clone Wars to continue, at least FINISH the story. I'd be okay with the show ending, if it weren't so abrupt and out of the blue. :( Like, the CAST only had a week of notice before this was released to the public. How horrible is that?!
First Satine, now Ahsoka, and now the whole show. Clone Wars....you're breaking my heart!!!
Trying to be positive.......The Clone Wars cast and crew are some of the most amazing and awesome people EVER and I love them all. :) They've impacted MY LIFE so much, and I know they've impacted others as well. I'll really miss The Clone Wars...everything about it, and all the actors. I hope they'll still do events and things, because I really really really love them.
in which a tweet made me cry
I really can't take too much more of this post. It's too final and making me so sad. XD I can't comprehend this....The Clone Wars is seriously my favorite TV show. I love Doctor Who, I love Warehouse 13, I love Sherlock, I love Legend of Korra, but The Clone Wars WAS MY FIRST. My first TV-show fandom, it was such a huge part of my life. It still is!
I'm glad to know that the show isn't COMPLETELY over. I hold hope that we'll get to see some promised arcs, and hopefully get to see where Ahsoka's story is finished. :)
I am just rambling now, and I really can't think when I'm this sad XD So you know what? Here, go listen to me talk about it. I was on the Tosche Station podcast last night, and I think I voiced everything decently on there. I talked about Ahsoka leaving, discussed theories, and more. :) I had fun talking with my friends Nanci and Brian, and I really loved talking about The Clone Wars. :D Let me know what you think, if you listened! ;)
That's all I've got guys. I'm out of emotional stability for the night. xDD If you want to be even more depressed (haha, not really) go read some of my fanfics. I wrote 3 TCW ones recently, and I'm enduring an extremely painful back and forth battle between my fangirl friends Pink and Shelby. (Thanks guys. This only hurts A WHOLE FREAKING LOT)
Contains MAJOR spoilers for the Season 5 Clone Wars finale episode, The Wrong Jedi.
So "The Wrong Jedi" happened and I decided to go ahead and post a 'reaction' in place of a 'review'...mostly because my head is so full of fanfiction and feelings that I can't process to write a hardcore review. XD
Speaking of fanfiction, I wrote a story that takes place right after the episode, if you'd like to read/review it for me. :) http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9073019/1/
So this entire episode really really exploded my emotions because just EVERYONE and all these FEELINGS and my BABIES and WHYYYYYYYY.
From a writing standpoint, the episode was great, the ending was flawless, and wonderfully done. But HOLY CHEESEBALLS BATMAN, IT HURT.
I watched the episode with Savanna on Saturday morning, since she was spending the weekend at my house (lots of fun btw, I had a blast with her :DDD) but when I watched it with Vannie (who was still hyped about the .01 seconds of Wolffe in the "previously on TCW" bit....) I didn't really get the full impact of the emotions. I was sad, and I teared up, but I wasn't as blown away as I thought I would be. I think that it was a mixture of it being early and I wasn't focused on the episode as much as I was my best friend sitting next to me. XD
But then I went ahead and bought the episode on iTunes and rewatched it. I watched it the other morning, and I cried so hard that I could not BREATHE. It suddenly hit me that I'd watched Ahsoka GROW UP, that I saw her and Anakin's friendship and relationship grow by leaps and bounds, and then I saw her WALK AWAY.....it ripped my heart out. I was SO sad. I mean....he'd been there with her through everything. They'd taken care of each other, saving one another's lives, learning from one another, growing together as Jedi and as heroes.
they're facing the same way
now they're opposite D;
Do you see how much she's grown? How much /he's/ grown? They're best friends, and she left him.
I just cannot handle this. He was so sure that she'd just agree instantly and become his Padawan again, a title that he NEVER wanted to be stripped of her, that was taken away against his will, but LOOK
She said no.
The heartbreak in Anakin's eyes during the entire episode hurt me so much. You could see everything in his eyes, they were an open book. You could see his anger and frustration with Ahsoka's position, his hate and anger at Ventress, his pure disgust with Barriss, and his total heartbreak when Ahsoka left. You could literally see the moment his heart shatters.
He's tearing up.
Did I mention I cried over this ALL DAY?
Because I did.
Artistic moment....between the GORGEOUS string music, the lighting, dialogue and the silence and somber music when the credits rolled, The Clone Wars team did a BRILLIANT job making that ending about as gut wrenching as possible. They did it PERFECTLY.
Flawless.
Hey look, the progression of friendship and love that crushes my soul and makes me want to murder small animals!
*claws out eyes with a rake*
They were so close. They were BFFs5ever. Ani and Soka, kickbutt Jedi team. D;
I knew it was coming guys. I knew that Ahsoka couldn't be with him forever. I knew it would hurt when she left/was killed/was written out of the show. I hope to GOD that she isn't done in the series, because they just left her story WAAAAAAAAY too open for that to be the end. I need to know what she knows about Anakin and what she's going to do with her life. I know from reading some of the Jedi Apprentice books that when a Jedi chooses to leave the Order (or is kicked out) the Jedi give them resources and even set them up somewhere where they can make a way for themselves. Does that happen for Ahsoka? Or is she on her own?
LOOK AT HIS FACE. LOOK AT HER FACE. LOOK AT THE HEARTBREAK AND STRUGGLE IN THEIR EYES. SHE'S READY TO CRY. I AM CRYING. SOMEONE GET ME MORE TISSUES.
AND IT HURTS SO MUCH, BECAUSE FROM THERE ON OUT ANAKIN SECOND GUESSES THE JEDI. HE SECOND GUESSES THEIR MOTIVES AND HE IS SECRETLY ANGRY AT THEM FOR TAKING AWAY EVERYTHING FROM HIM. IT'S BECAUSE OF THE ORDER THAT HIS MOTHER IS DEAD. IT'S BECAUSE OF THE ORDER THAT AHSOKA IS GONE. IT'S BECAUSE OF THE ORDER THAT HE AND PADME CAN'T BE TOGETHER WHENEVER THEY WANT. IT'S BECAUSE OF THE JEDI ORDER THAT HE'S SO ALONE AND CONFLICTED.
No wonder it's so easy for Palaptine to make him a slave. He just has to snap his fingers, ruin a few more things, give Anakin a bit more doubt, let the Jedi screw themselves even more by telling him to "embrace loss" and BOOM, Darth Vader.
Also SHE'S CRYING WHEN SHE WALKS AWAY. I DIDN'T NOTICE THAT WHEN I WATCHED IT ON SATURDAY, BUT WATCHING IT AGAIN I NOTICED THAT AHSOKA HAD TEARS RUNNING DOWN HER CHEEKS WHILE SHE WALKED AWAY. SHE DIDN'T TURN BACK, SHE DIDN'T LOOK AT HIM AGAIN, SHE DIDN'T EVEN SAY /GOODBYE/ SHE JUST WALKED AWAY, INTO THE SUNSET, CRYING AS SHE LEFT HER BEST FRIEND AND THE ONLY HOME SHE'D EVER KNOWN, BECAUSE EVERYTHING WAS TURNED UPSIDE DOWN AND SHE COULDN'T FIGURE IT OUT. AHSOKA HAD NEVER BEEN IN A SITUATION THAT SHE COULDN'T FIGHT OR TALK HER WAY OUT OF AND NOW SHE'S FILLED WITH SUCH CONFUSION AND SHE'S JUST SO LOST THAT SHE HAS TO LEAVE THE JEDI TEMPLE, LEAVE THE JEDI ORDER, LEAVE ANAKIN! AND I CANNOT AND I MIGHT BE CRYING AGAIN...D;
I'd like to take a moment to thank the cast and crew of The Clone Wars for creating the most beautiful animated series to grace the television. XD The lighting, music, design and characters are just GORGEOUS. You can see all the emotions, you can feel everything so vividly. The story writing is brilliant and I am constantly amazed. Even episodes that I didn't like, such as the Droid Arc, they were still animated brilliantly, and the voice talent was incredible. So THANK YOU Clone Wars, THANK YOU.
Thanks Dave Filoni for crushing my soul and making me cry violently for the past 24 hours straight. @.@
I have to add, through all this pain and suffering, I've taken more time to talk with my TLF girlfriends, and we've bonded over our mutual favorite character. :) I've really loved talking with Pink, Shelby, Autumn (duhh), Lilly, Michelle and everyone on TLF about our feelings. XD It's nice to have a support group. XD
*breathes* I just have a lot of feelings, okay? I feel bad for Ashley Eckstein....when I get to Star Wars Weekends I'm going to hug her and sob. XD I know Autumn will do the same, so I won't be alone. But still. Sorry in advance, Ashley. XD
I leave you all with this incredible (horrible) video made by my good friend Shelby, who captured everything I said in this blog post with a High School Musical song and some dang good video editing. Ow ow ow. I sobbed sooooooooooOoooOOoooOo hard watching that thing. Yet I've watched it at least 8 times. XD
Okay guys...sorry for such a spazzy post, but I need to get some feels out and I really wanted to talk about my TCW feels. XD
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