I am tired of girls falling madly in love with every guy they come across who speaks to them, or is nice, or is "hot". Where is the chivalry? I personally, am praying that it's not dead. I miss when guys and girls "courted" and were best friends before they started dating, making out, planning weddings, and doing unthinkable things. I don't like how fast things move...and honestly, I think that technology is partially to blame for this.
Through social media websites, especially Facebook, people who see each other once a week, can talk and have tons of conversations in nanoseconds. Now I'm not saying Facebook is bad...I use it for business and it's great, I mean when you are suddenly in love with someone because they talk to you over Facebook chat....that's when it becomes problematic.
Two examples of classic, good, old-time romances....one real and the other fictional.
John and Abigail Adams. They were married for 54 years, during one of the hardest periods of history. John was often away on business trips, fighting for America's Independence on the legal and political side of things. Abigail tended the homefront, caring for soldiers when need be, taking care of her family and home, and John when he was home. She and John were both still very much in love when Abigail died at the age of 73. The two kept in touch through letters. Snail mail!! The letters were often addressed to "My Dearest Friend" and both wrote about their love and loneliness during the war. In a metaphorical sense, I'd like to find my Dearest Friend, who will write to me and keep in touch no matter the circumstances or battles life throws at us.
Han Solo and Princess Leia Organa. (Shut up, it counts, for all you non-Star Wars fans...I know there are a few of you out there...O.o) Han and Leia are an example of a good, classic romance. They start out hating each other, but in the end, they are partners for all time. When the two meet, the friction is evident. Han is a cocky-know-it-all smuggler, and Leia is a no-nonsense-Princess/Politician who doesn't take crap from anybody, including and especially Captain Solo. Eventually, when tensions rose and life-or-death situations were faced, true feelings were revealed and reveled in. Han and Leia fell in love and did things right by each other, and didn't rush into their relationship. Leia didn't go all ga-ga for Han either, just because he wore tight-fitting pants or was handsome. Good for her.
Now...why can't we have strong relationships like Abigail and John? Or strong women like Leia?
Okay, here me out. I personally do not think that at 12, 13, 14, 15+ you are experiencing true love. If you DO have a boyfriend at 15+, good for you, that's really nice that you have a friend. I'm talking about when you are 12, 13, 14 and sometimes YOUNGER. It's not necessary to think that guys are "sexy" at 12. Or that you want to marry someone at 14. You've barely started to live life and you think you're in love? No.
I've decided that Jesus is my boyfriend. I have my fictional guys, but I can 100% honestly say that I do not know ANYONE that I have a crush on. I am not "in love" with anyone, and I do not want to marry anyone.
Jesus needs to be first in your heart before you can even THINK about dating, from a Christian perspective. Because, if Jesus isn't there, and isn't most-important, how can you expect to find love? He holds the most love for you in the entire world and universe, more than any human EVER could. Wouldn't you like to feel that love? Let HIM in.
Jesus has a perfect plan for your life. He has it all written and decided, and if you make good, Christ centered decisions, then you will find that perfect person that he created for you. True love IS out there. My parents have it....I know it's real.
I was asked recently when I'm going to grow up and start liking "REAL" boys. Apparently Luke Skywalker and Steve Rogers aren't good enough for some people.....
Guess what? I AM grown up. Just because I live in my own little world doesn't mean that I am not awake and involved with the world around me. In fact, I'm probably more in tune with the rest of the world than most are.
Anyway, my response to that question was this:
"I'll start liking "REAL BOYS" when Jesus puts the right "REAL BOY" in my life. The one he MADE for me, the one that he CHOSE for me, and the one that is RIGHT for me. Until then, I'll wait very patiently, with my fictional boyfriends."
This is the truth. I am NOT rushing anything. My mom and I had a very long discussion the other day about this. We read a very sweet book called "The Princess and the Kiss". It described your heart, love and virginity as the Princess's Kiss, and how she needed to save her precious gift of her kiss for the perfect person that God had planned for her. This included not wasting her time on people who weren't part of God's plan, or would distract her from her future true love. The Princess was wise, and saved her first kiss for a boy who loved her for her, and saved his kiss for her. On their wedding day, the two exchanged kisses, and then were able to later bless their child with her own kiss.
The story made me cry. Because the concept of your precious "kiss" is totally disregarded nowadays!!! No one cares about that, or should I say, not many do. Society teaches us to do what we FEEL is good, and FEEL is right. Well guess what? The Bible tells us to be careful of our feelings, because they can deceive us. You let JESUS guide your heart, and keep it guarded and safe until he is ready to give you your person worthy of your Kiss.
After discussing with my mom....I am even more assured now that I am doing the RIGHT THING by waiting and not begging for attention from guys, by flirting with them, or freaking out and drooling all over them. I am doing the right thing by waiting for the right person to come into my life, and to not waste my time on people who AREN'T him. Because as nice as it is to have a boyfriend when you're a teenager, why is it all that necessary to give away parts of your heart to someone who you aren't going to marry? I want my first boyfriend to be my only one, and the one that will become my husband.
And for the record, I know that IS possible, because my dad's co-worker's daughter had her relationship work out that way. :)
As of right now, I'm not even all that interested in boys. I can talk to them, I DO talk to them, and I have a few guy friends, but this doesn't mean that because I have a conversation with a person of the opposite gender that I'm automatically in love with them.
Example. I talk with a guy in my math class sometimes. He's pretty nice, very funny, and cool. One of my IRL friends is crushing on this guy. I mentioned once that I talked to him in math class, and suddenly it was a miracle of God that I even got him to look at me. I was like, "Know what we talked about? Video games. Because I know about that, and I was able to relate to him about it. No big deal."
Then I got..."Oh but isn't he SOOOO cute? And just so hilarious?"
"Yeah, he's funny.."
"AND HOT!"
"umm...no?"
*facepalm*
You see, I am very tired of guys being "hot" and "sexy" and "cute". Let me rephrase that. I'm tired of girls OBSESSING over them. Why can't a guy and a girl be just friends? Yes, there are a few girls and guys who are actually in happy, stable, safe and good relationships, but most of the time it's very one-sided from both sides! XD Either the girl likes the guy and won't say anything, or DOES say something and then things go to hell pretty fast...or the guy likes the girl and insults her every chance possible, making fun of her and making her miserable instead of telling her that she's pretty or nice or anything. Where is the chivalry?? Where is that respect? I wouldn't want to give my Kiss to any one of those people, regardless of how nice or hot or whatever they are! I want that one special person, and I won't settle for anything less, because it's what God promised to me, and He NEVER breaks a promise.
I usually dread Thursdays. I'll be honest and explain why. Most of my friends would fall into the "boy obsessed" category. Unfortunately, the guys and the girls (all in the 13 (ISH) and up category) are grouped together at P.E. So we get to run around with each other, the girls giggling and making fools out of themselves over the guys, and the guys being total jerks to each other AND the girls (sometimes, there are exceptions to this) for 3 hours.
Fun....?
Anyway....I actually ENJOY when the girls are separated. Everyone else complains and whines about it, but I don't mind. I like being with the younger girls, and offering them encouragement and love and being the "big sister" (since I'm the oldest).
I am sooooo tired of this boy stuff. Honestly. I am tired of hearing about what so-and-so said on Facebook, and that this-guy has a girlfriend now, and bla-bla-bla said this to so-and-so over the weekend. Seriously. I'm sick of it.
As cruel as it sounds, in 10+ years from now, I doubt any of these boys who are so worthy of obsession *Sarcasm, Sarcasm* will still be apart of my life, or so important in it, at the very least.
My IRL best friend told me about an experience she had with a boy, who was very nice to her and funny and sweet and stuff. That's great, I told her, I'm happy for her.
But then on Facebook, she gets all freaked out, sending me panicked messages asking me if she should send him a message first, or if that's creepy, or if she should just wait for him to do it, or if she shouldn't do anything at all because he's really cute and she doesn't want to mess this up.
....MESS WHAT UP??? YOU TALKED TO HIM FOR A FEW HOURS TODAY. YOU ARE TOO YOUNG FOR THIS!!!! I AM TOO YOUNG!!! WHY ARE YOU EVEN STRESSING ABOUT THIS????
I honestly don't know. She's younger than me, and I am NOT thinking that way about things. I have quite a few guy friends, and I have NO problem talking to them, in real life and over the internet. I don't understand why it's such a big deal. I told her so. I asked her why she was freaking out, just send him a message and say hello. Why was that so hard? I do that all the time.... But that evoked more freaking out, accusations of me, and my sincerity (I'm sorry...that point was valid...xD), and more. She asked for my opinion, but got upset when I told her. Umm....okaaaaay?
Later she cornered me about it again, and I honestly told her that in my opinion, we were both far too young to be thinking about boys that way, and that it was inappropriate and necessary. The conversation that followed honestly made me squeal. With delight believe it or not... ;)
Her: and liking boys is ok because its not like i'm doing anything about
Me: IMO I think it's a waste of time
Her: you never going to like boys !?!?!?!
Me: No, just not right now. I'll wait.
Her: for what?
Me: The right partner.
For those of you who don't know.....that last bit is a quote from Captain America. Steve Rogers tells Peggy Carter that he's waiting for the right partner for him. One more reason why I love him. <3333 I have taken that to heart a lot lately....I'm waiting for the right partner. After typing that, I literally squealed in delight, because I both used a Captain America quote, and because it was so true!!! I am waiting for the right partner.
Jesus needs to be first. I'm at peace with guys, whether I crush on them or not, because I know that Jesus has a set plan for me and my romance. He already has chosen the husband that is perfect and made specifically for me, and I cannot wait to meet him!!! Maybe that's why I don't get all freaked out....because I already have a boyfriend....and his name is Jesus. <3 Jesus puts my heart at ease, and until he puts that person in my life, I'm romancing Jesus, and growing my relationship with HIM.
So my friends, in conclusion of this rambly, ranty, and hopefully inspirational post, remember that JESUS has to rule your heart, not boys. Give Him your love, and you will be surely blessed with love in return. ;)
God bless. Enjoy a song that were laid on my heart while writing this. :)
P.S. You can reverse this if you're a guy, to make it work for girls. ;)
